I have been feeling a bit over-exposed. Like a photograph left to long in the sun. Like
Mr. Baggins I feel thin. "Sort of stretched, like... butter scraped over too much bread." But yet there are things I feel I must say. To make sense of the last few weeks, to make amends, to try and muddle on.
I am no longer in India. The reasons I left are....well they are the tangled and tender frayed ends of best intentions and failures. I am in Haiti again, as of Wednesday. A two month gig with Samaritan's Purse. Of course my heart is still in India. With those 34 girls whose uncle misses them like a lost limb. I find myself conjuring their pouty voices and faces pained with mock embarrassment begging me to cut my hair. Their little threats to sneak into my room at night and do the devilish deed. My promises of retribution never failed to elicit giggles but were inept in conquering their resolve. I still have my hair but God only knows what I left behind.
The truth is I know they will be fine. They will be better than fine surrounded by so many who love them so dearly. And they will have their new home soon enough. The construction goes on at an ever steady pace and the story of the girl's day to day life is beautifully told here. So I hope you will keep falling in love with them, keep cheering them on. They are the future of India. They are the healing hands that will restore gentleness where there has been so much hardness and pain. To all of my friends and family and those at Ekklesia Hattiesburg that gave so generously to this project, may God in His mercy give you much more seed to sow. Thank you again from the very depths of my heart.
There is a line from one of Rumi's poems that has stayed with me this week:
"Break the glass and fall toward the Glassblower's breath."
Such an incredible image of the free-fall of Grace and I know that is what I need more than anything right now. To free-fall into Him. To not just be over-exposed, not just be spread too thin, but be completely and utterly transparent before God. To give in, to give up...guns in the ground, white flag raised, unconditional....surrender.